


You Thought I Was Happy (But You Aren't)

by Karlethandra_Merthensa



Series: You Thought I Was Happy [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Happiness never comes easy, Hurt!Hanzo, Let's make that one a tag, M/M, MCHANGST, Misunderstandings, hurt!Jesse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 08:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10963053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karlethandra_Merthensa/pseuds/Karlethandra_Merthensa
Summary: Hanzo didn't know what he did wrong.  Was it wrong of him to let the Cowboy in?  Was it wrong of him to try and be his friend?No, Hanzo decided, it wasn't.  If he didn't care if it took until they were sixty.  He would find out what went wrong.





	You Thought I Was Happy (But You Aren't)

When Hanzo woke up that morning, or afternoon considering it was one, he was alone.  The only thing that signified what happened the night before happened was the slight smell of whiskey and smoke still residing inside the room and on the sheets.

The archer sat up slowly, groaning as his back popped and he stretched.  His movements were smooth, but his thoughts were racing.  

_ Where is Jesse _ .

Did he wake up, freak out and leave?  Did he fear what Hanzo would say if he had stayed?

Hanzo sighed softly as he got up, moving to his closet as he grabbed a simple t-shirt and jeans, slipped on some boots and left the room.  The first place he went was the Common Room, but felt a hole in his stomach as he only saw Lena inside.  The younger woman took one look at Hanzo and knew something was up.  Her smile melted into a frown, and she placed down her book and stood, moving over and just gently wrapping him in a hug.  The archer melted in her arms, sighing softly.

“He went to you last night…  Didn’t he.” She whispered.

Hanzo stiffened slightly, “Who are you-”  
“Jesse, Hanzo.  He went to you last night, I can tell…  He had a nightmare, didn’t he.” She interrupted.  Without a word, Hanzo nodded softly.  She sighed gently, “He’s been doing that for the past few weeks…  From what we can tell it’s been happening since we first learned about what Lerner did.”

Hanzo pulled back, “We?” He questioned.

Lena nodded, “He’s gone to Genji, Reinhardt, Jack, and myself.  I never actually thought he’d go to you…”

“What…  What were his nightmares about with you?”  
“Same thing each time: The image of your neck bruising, except we didn’t get there until you were almost dead…  We always got to you, though.”

Hanzo nodded gently, and Lena changed the conversation to her book, realizing he needed something else to think about.

But he didn’t even hear a word she said.

 

****

 

When he subtly questioned the others, he found that each of them had a different Jesse nightmare to tell about.

_ “He says that he just keeps seeing exactly what happened, over and over again…  Beating himself up for not continuing to run like Reinhardt did.”  _ Jack said.

_ “He always told me it was the same thing over and over: A slow motion version of you flinching from Angela and beginning to cry.”  _ Reinhardt said.

_ “The image of your neck bruising, except we didn’t get there until you were almost dead.”  _ Lena said.

_ “He always said…  That it was a first person view…  He was Lerner, his hands were clamped around your neck, and  _ he _ was the one who was watching you turn blue, your hands grasping at his wrists as you barely tried to push him away… _ ” Genji said.

They lead up, one after the other.  They kept getting worse until Jesse finally came to him, talking about how he was finally  _ dead _ in the dream.

It has been two weeks since Jesse first came, and he saw  _ very _ little of the Cowboy, and it all but broke his heart.  Everytime he did see him, he would try and wave hello but the man always turned on his heel and left.  Each and every time it happened Hanzo felt his heart break a little bit more.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore.  He was just sitting there, Lena’s leg across his lap when Jesse came in.  Hanzo gave the man a simple smile and said, “Good morning, Jesse.”

He didn’t even  _ look _ at him.  He grabbed an apple from the counter, and headed for the door.  A flash of hurt went through Hanzo and without meaning to he  _ slammed _ his book shut.   _ That _ got Jesse’s attention.  He looked over his shoulder, his brow raised in surprise, “Alright there, Shimada?”  His voice was rough for reasons Hanzo couldn’t figure out.  

Feeling Hanzo tensing under her, Lena pulled her legs to herself, stood, and was out the door in under a second.  Hanzo slowly stood, “ _ That _ is what get’s you to acknowledge me?” He demands.

“What are you talking about?” Jesse asked, tiredly.

“Every. Single. Time. I am  _ anywhere _ near you, you turn around and go the other way.  You haven’t spoken a  _ word _ to me since that night.” Hanzo exclaimed.  

“What am I supposed to say?” Jesse demanded, “‘Hey, Hanzo, sorry for comin’ into yer room at the butt-fuck of night and spilling my worst fear onto ya’.  I just needed to make sure that you were alive and that my nightmares weren’t actually a reality.’” He gave the archer a blank look, “Because that would have gone over well.”

“It’s better than not talking to me at all!” Hanzo replied loudly.

“Why, so I could listen to you tell me that my fears are irrational?  So you could brush me aside like everyone else is?” Jesse spat.

“No!” Hanzo yelled, “So I could help stop it!”

Jesse frowned, “And how are you planning on doing that?”

Hanzo crossed his arms, clearing his throat as he checked his volume level.  The cowboy was already upset, he didn’t need to add to it, “How about spending time with you?  Laughing with you?  Smiling with you?   _ Being your fucking friend _ .”

Jesse flinched, and rolled his eyes, “I’m not much of a friend for you.  You’re basically a Prince.  I’m a-”

“If you say a criminal, or something along those lines, I will slap you.” Hanzo interrupted, stepping closer to the man.  Jesse flinched slightly.

“You know it’s true.” He spat.

“Like hell it is!” Hanzo exclaiming, stepping even closer, “And what about that part of me being a Prince?  That isn’t true at all!”

“Are you kidding me?” Jesse laughed, incredulously, “You’re basically royalty, and you’ve got the air around you that says it!  You were a Crime Lord’s son, and a Crime Lord! The ruler of the Shimada clan!”

“Yes, you are correct,” Hanzo agreed, crossing his arms, “But I’m also a _murderer_.”  
“No-”

“I’ve killed businessmen and their families, women who got a little too handsy with my family members, and I tried to kill my own  _ brother _ .” Hanzo laughed humorlessly, “Some fucking Prince I am!  A Prince is supposed to protect, preserve and love.  All I did was kill, destroy and hate.  It’s a shock anyone accepts me here.” He added in a mutter.

“But look at you now!” Jesse said, defensively, as he stepped up to Hanzo, their bodies inches apart, “A Corporal of Blackwatch, Genji is alive and by your side, you’ve got Jack as your new father figure, Gabe will always be there for you, Reinhardt has  _ never _ be so protective of someone, and damn it all, we  _ love _ you, Hanzo!”

“Does that ‘we’ pertain to you as well?” The smaller man whispered, looking up at Jesse with soft eyes.

The cowboy blushed slightly, a hand going to the back of his neck, “W-well I wouldn’t have said ‘we’ if it didn’t.” he replied.

Hanzo looked at him for a long moment, completely silent before he took a step back, “Glad to hear.” He said, “I’ll be in my room if you need me.” And with that, he walked out of the room.

With each step Jesse could feel his heart break a little more, a ghost of another pair of lips on his, and the feeling of someone in his arms.

With wet eyes he turned and left the room.

**Author's Note:**

> So.
> 
> I'm evil.
> 
> I know.
> 
> But, hey!
> 
> Who said you could have happiness without a few ups and downs?


End file.
